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I stopped eating sugar and starch about eight months ago for various reasons, so this upcoming Christmas is going to be somewhat different. I’m going to splurge on foods that contain very little carbs. It’s going to be a meaty Christmas (not gay).

I haven’t really planned it as such, but it’s going to include:

Pork, lamb, beef, chicken, turkey, chicken liver, lamb liver, pancetta, bacon, sasuages, meatballs, king prawns, scallops, Gouda cheese, Gorgonzola blue cheese sauce, parmesan cheese, Roquefort cheese, mozzarella ball, cauliflower, spinach, small amount of diced onion, and garlic butter. Let’s not forget the freeze-dried chives that I’m so fond of.

This is going to be hard to proportion as I don’t really eat that much since cutting out all of the carby crap. The temptation to make a huge ball of meat with a cheesy centre and crunchy pork coating has been resisted. Just.

A nice chilled glass of diesel will be the finisher. Or just water, as that’s the only thing I drink now.

I’ve started posting the odd picture and photo to my Twitter crap, so look out for any pics of my disgusting mess there.

Edit: Just had the idea of blending the whole lot, a la paté, and making it into a ball. The only problem is that this idea is making me feel queasy. I’d hate to see what it looked or smelt like. Yetch.

While standing in the exact same spot in-front of the bathroom mirror I do every day to brush my teeth, seeing the unkempt mess that was surrounding my mouth confirmed that I need to have at it with a trimmer, I had a thought.

One day soon, I should shave it all off except for the bit directly under the nose.

Just for a day. See what people say. The Charlie Chaplin look hasn’t been seen in a very long time and should at least be given a chance for revival. It’s a very classical look. One that reminds us of an earlier time. A more simpler time.

And by Charlie Chaplin, I mean Adolph Hitler.

For one day.

Just one.

Bye-bye, poochy.