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I stopped eating sugar and starch about eight months ago for various reasons, so this upcoming Christmas is going to be somewhat different. I’m going to splurge on foods that contain very little carbs. It’s going to be a meaty Christmas (not gay).

I haven’t really planned it as such, but it’s going to include:

Pork, lamb, beef, chicken, turkey, chicken liver, lamb liver, pancetta, bacon, sasuages, meatballs, king prawns, scallops, Gouda cheese, Gorgonzola blue cheese sauce, parmesan cheese, Roquefort cheese, mozzarella ball, cauliflower, spinach, small amount of diced onion, and garlic butter. Let’s not forget the freeze-dried chives that I’m so fond of.

This is going to be hard to proportion as I don’t really eat that much since cutting out all of the carby crap. The temptation to make a huge ball of meat with a cheesy centre and crunchy pork coating has been resisted. Just.

A nice chilled glass of diesel will be the finisher. Or just water, as that’s the only thing I drink now.

I’ve started posting the odd picture and photo to my Twitter crap, so look out for any pics of my disgusting mess there.

Edit: Just had the idea of blending the whole lot, a la paté, and making it into a ball. The only problem is that this idea is making me feel queasy. I’d hate to see what it looked or smelt like. Yetch.

Preface: This was originally written back in February 2009, but I never finished it as I didn’t try the Guinness Stout. It needs a little bit of proof-reading and more teh-funnies injecting into it here and there, but here it is anyway.

Alcohol is the liquid of choice for people that want to die. At least that’s how I think the tag line should go. I sort of bypassed the whole drinking-til-you-spew phase that so many teenagers go through, which is why I haven’t accepted the alcoholic taste as something a human should have to endure without torture of the plums being involved.

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Edit: Added “Loose”.

What the hell – have another little faux guide thing. This one is for those particularly thick people out there. I know you’re out there, lurking, with your defective brain.

Today we’ll be tackling the misuse of words. That is, when someone uses a word they’ve heard of, but don’t actually know its true meaning. They’ll use them to try and appear more intelligent than they are. It doesn’t work.

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As it seems I’m not posting here much, I’m using that Twitter bilge (pretend I’m being ironic or something) to do quick updates and such. I despise it, yet I use it. What a hypocrite I am. Link is here.

Right, that’s it. If you’re above a certain age and you still don’t know how to use apostrophes, then you’re thick. I’ve just been through the hell of reading through a major apostrophe catastrophe, so now I’m going to explain exactly when to use these damn symbols. If you still get it wrong after reading this, then you should really think about dropping the written form as a method of communication.

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I’m not entirely sure how I found this site, but randomally hopping between sites while clicking on links that seemed mildly interesting seemed to be somewhat responsible. OCR is a site dedicated to providing high-quality remixes to existing video games.

Not much more to say than that, really. I’m particularlly fond of the Da Bomb Lemmings remix. The built-in Last.FM player doesn’t work for me, so click on the Download MP3 link underneath it if you’re also experiencing the same.

View: OverClocked Remix

Bit of a surprise, this one. Lidl have a huge freezer full of lobsters for sale, at £5 each. Sounded good, so we grabbed one.

Having previously lived in Grimsby, a fairly major fishing town famed for starring in adverts featuring singers with stupid accents, I was a fan of seafood and had tried most things. Most things except lobster; although I’ve had these weird lobster tail things that are textured white fish with lobster flavouring. Bit of a rip-off at £1 each, but they are pretty nice. As are cray fish tails, for that matter.

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