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I stopped eating sugar and starch about eight months ago for various reasons, so this upcoming Christmas is going to be somewhat different. I’m going to splurge on foods that contain very little carbs. It’s going to be a meaty Christmas (not gay).

I haven’t really planned it as such, but it’s going to include:

Pork, lamb, beef, chicken, turkey, chicken liver, lamb liver, pancetta, bacon, sasuages, meatballs, king prawns, scallops, Gouda cheese, Gorgonzola blue cheese sauce, parmesan cheese, Roquefort cheese, mozzarella ball, cauliflower, spinach, small amount of diced onion, and garlic butter. Let’s not forget the freeze-dried chives that I’m so fond of.

This is going to be hard to proportion as I don’t really eat that much since cutting out all of the carby crap. The temptation to make a huge ball of meat with a cheesy centre and crunchy pork coating has been resisted. Just.

A nice chilled glass of diesel will be the finisher. Or just water, as that’s the only thing I drink now.

I’ve started posting the odd picture and photo to my Twitter crap, so look out for any pics of my disgusting mess there.

Edit: Just had the idea of blending the whole lot, a la paté, and making it into a ball. The only problem is that this idea is making me feel queasy. I’d hate to see what it looked or smelt like. Yetch.

Flash games, hmm? They’re generally completely rubbish, but this one is a bit… weird.

In your role as Reiko, you must restore your position as top lady of the house by opening your right hand and slapping some bitches in the face. That’s the entire game, right there. You open-hand slap people in the face. Slaps can even crit for extra damage.

The first four fights were easy enough, but the five? Wow. I’m surprised my character didn’t instagib all over the screen. I was doing ‘er a good ‘un, and then got hit in the face with her sasuage fingers. Ouch. Edit: Yay, got her on the third go without being touched.

The game itself is all very well done, with anime-style graphics (I’m not a particular fan of the non-anti-alised lines, personally), proper music and sound effects. I particularly like the Street Fighter-style visual effect of out-slapping a wench. Maybe the sequel will feature big hairy geezers towel-flicking each other in the pods – watch out for that one.

Takes a little while to load, but here you go: Rose & Camellia.